Contact. (Not the Jodie Foster movie.)

You can e-mail me at this address. You'll need to type the address into your e-mail program manually, as the internet is full of terrifying creatures hell-bent on harvesting e-mail addresses and using them for their own fiendish plans. (Seems to me said plans involve developing an army of warriors with gigantic penises and virus-laden computers.)


You're splendidly welcome to follow me on this fantabulous Twitter thing that the internet is all afluster about. Occasionally I see fit to post something on it. Rarely anything of interest, mind, but hey. You take what you can get.

You can also try Facebook, but I'll probably ignore you. (Particularly if I don't know who you are. Which I probably don't. You can message me first, if you like. Chances are it'll make no difference.)

If all of these methods fail you, you could try carrier pigeon, sniffer dog or UAV.