Scroll down for links to the reviews.
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Qualification For Inclusion: A drink is considered exotic, and therefore qualifies for inclusion in the Exotic Beverage Reviews if it meets one or more of the following criteria: Is, and/or claims to be an energy drink: A drink is accepted into the archives if it claims on the can or bottle to be an "energy drink", or contains either caffeine, taurine or guarana. Has a name that sounds like an energy drink: If the product has a name clearly designed to appeal to the nightclubbing fraternity, or to yuppies seeking a mid-afternoon boost, then it fits the EBR bill! Is exotic, bizarre, weird or creepy: This includes such phenomenal oddities as the Fanta Spider, which is not an energy drink, but is certainly weird enough to be considered exotic. Is a limited edition, or promotional beverage: Although none of these beverages are archived (although the Batman, Catwoman and Scooby Doo colas are potentials for this category), this would include limited edition versions of existing drinks and commercial tie-ins, such as movie licenses or whatnot. Comes in a 250ml can: I'm fairly biased toward any beverage that is provided in the slim 250ml cans, whether they're energy drinks or not. If they're slightly odd in any way, they're guaranteed entries. Energy Drink Ingredients Here's a listing of the various ingredients they put in these drinks, what said ingredients are supposed to do for you - and wherever it's possible to find out - whether it actually does what it's meant to. About Energy Drinks The biggest hurdle facing all energy drinks manufacturers is that the key ingredients of an energy drink have an overwhelming tendency to taste like shit. Caffiene and guarana, the most common "energy" ingredients, are bitter and unpleasant tasting. Vitamin-B, the bane of all energy drinks, tastes like rotten vegetation, and makes your urine green and aromatic. Taurine encumbers any drink it's included in with the disgusting flavour of bile. Add to these wonderful ingredients the growing trend for energy drinks to include obscure items such as ginseng, gingko biloba, gotu kola, green tea, and other things found evolving in the lichens of Brazilian rainforests, and you're beginning to understand the difficulty in making an energy drink that doesn't taste like wrung-out lawn clippings. Red Bull Clones It's become apparent to me that there must be importers who're dragging boatloads of Red Bull knock-off energy drinks into the country, relabelling them with some catchy title, and selling them as unique drinks. I've encountered at least a half-dozen drinks that have exactly the same colouring, and virtually exactly the same flavour and ingredients (give or take some sugar or whatnot, although batch discrepancies may account for this anyway) as Red Bull. Either it's entirely impossible to invent a new and interesting beverage (unlikely, see the ungodly Mother for a new slant on all things caffeinated), or there's a massive market in bootleg Red Bull. (Which, I admit, is entirely possible. Hooray for Ravers.) |
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B-52 A Dutch energy drink that doesn't quite live up to its explosive nomenclature. |
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Battery Energy Drink High voltage energy drink that doesn't taste too bad. |
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Blue Ox: Orange Rush Cheap, nasty drink that tastes like vitamin horrible. |
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Blue Ox: Original Cheap and nasty drink from Woolworths. Bonus points for being seriously goddamn blue. |
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Blue Ox: Real Power The only one of three Blue Ox drinks that didn't make me regret being born. |
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Bullit A Dutch energy drink with awesome can artwork. |
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Buzz Monkey It sponsors a horrible game show, and tastes mercifully decent. |
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Diet Coke with Citrus Zest A guest review from Chris Grapes, featuring a frightening Coke/Satan hybrid from the UK. |
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Go Fast Possibly the worst drink ever manufactured, bar none. |
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Guaranį Antarctica A Brazilian beverage in a green can. |
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Hype Energy It comes in a silver can. That's good enough for me. It's also not pee yellow, which makes it even better. |
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Jugular Mmm..a totally herbal energy drink with very few redeeming qualities. |
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Mother An unpleasant ginger-tasting beverage from the Coca Cola company. |
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Pokka Milk Coffee Coffee in a can, straight from Japan, it'll make you a man. With a gigantic chin. |
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Power Booster A Dutch energy drink of obscureness and oddity. |
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Private Energy It's Dutch, and it has a pornstar on it. Go figure. |
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Recharge by Sprite It's blue and it tastes like a combination of mouthwash and lemonade. |
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Red Bull The classic energy drink, and the benchmark for all others, really. |
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Red Devil Found in Tasmania. It's red. And devilish, apparently. |
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Red Eye Power The only canned beverage to bear the Red Eye moniker. |
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Red Eye: Extreme It tastes like candy bananas, and it's made in Australia. |
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Red Eye: Platinum Another fine energy drink from Red Eye Australia. |
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Red Lizard Another Red Bull clone with a lizard on the can, this time. Bonus points for can art on this one, it looks awesome. |
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Rhino's Energy Drink A surprisingly nice-tasting drink in a can with a rhinoceros on. |
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Rodeo Power Drink A sugar free drink donated by Kees Engels, from The Netherlands. Slightly scary, but not so bad, I guess. |
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Speed Yep, it's a narcotic in a can. Or not, really. |
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Superman An energy drink that's definitely not the colour of kryptonite. |
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V A classic energy drink, made in New Zealand. |
Articles and unusual reviews and other things:
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Sour Spray It comes in a can, and it's horrible. Horrible, I say. |
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Links of pertinance: X-Entertainment: Dead Sodas - Reviews of some obscure and out-of-date drinks on X-Entertainment.com! energydrinks.factexpert.com - This page links to here, so I link back to it! It's like a vicious cycle of linkage. Energy drinks on Wikipedia - It has a nice table of energy drinks, most of which I've never heard of! Submitting your own reviews: If you've encountered a bizarre beverage that fits the bill for inclusion in these reviews, please, by all means, send me a review. You can submit it via e-mail, then I'll mail you back with the e-mail address to send pictures to! If you decide to send a review, please: - Be funny. These reviews are supposed to be entertaining as well as informative! - Please take at least TWO photographs of the beverage, using the format of photographs used in the reviews. Please also use a white background, and if you can, ensure your camera's white balance is set correctly. This is to give an accurate representation of the colour of the drink. (See the Red Devil review for an example of this not working well.) If you can, please also include a close-up photograph of the nutritional information chart on the can or bottle. - Woo! These reviews are provided for the enlightenment of anyone that wants to read them. I mean no harm to the companies that make these drinks. A quick search on google will return squillions of webpages from people who enjoy drinking all kinds of energy drinks. Everyone has differing tastes, and I happen to be pretty picky about what I choose to describe as "pleasant tasting". If you'd like to comment on any of these reviews or just have a chat, drop me a line through the ol' colonpipe email system. |