Exotic Beverage Reviews

A drink is considered exotic, and therefore qualifies for inclusion in the Exotic Beverage Reviews if it meets one or more of the following criteria:

Is, and/or claims to be an energy drink:
A drink is accepted into the archives if it claims on the can or bottle to be an "energy drink", or contains either caffeine, taurine or guarana.

Has a name that sounds like an energy drink:
If the product has a name clearly designed to appeal to the nightclubbing fraternity, or to yuppies seeking a mid-afternoon boost, then it fits the EBR bill!

Is exotic, bizarre, weird or creepy:
This includes such phenomenal oddities as the Fanta Spider, which is not an energy drink, but is certainly weird enough to be considered exotic.

Is a limited edition, or promotional beverage:
Although none of these beverages are archived (although the Batman, Catwoman and Scooby Doo colas are potentials for this category), this would include limited edition versions of existing drinks and commercial tie-ins, such as movie licenses or whatnot.

Comes in a 250ml can:
I'm fairly biased toward any beverage that is provided in the slim 250ml cans, whether they're energy drinks or not. If they're slightly odd in any way, they're guaranteed entries.

About Energy Drinks
The biggest hurdle facing all energy drinks manufacturers is that the key ingredients of an energy drink have an overwhelming tendency to taste like shit. Caffiene and guarana, the most common "energy" ingredients, are bitter and unpleasant tasting. Vitamin-B, the bane of all energy drinks, tastes like rotten vegetation, and makes your urine green and aromatic. Taurine encumbers any drink it's included in with the disgusting flavour of bile. Add to these wonderful ingredients the growing trend for energy drinks to include obscure items such as ginseng, gingko biloba, gotu kola, green tea, and other things found evolving in the lichens of Brazilian rainforests, and you're beginning to understand the difficulty in making an energy drink that doesn't taste like wrung-out lawn clippings.

Red Bull Clones
It's become apparent to me that there must be importers who're dragging boatloads of Red Bull knock-off energy drinks into the country, relabelling them with some catchy title, and selling them as unique drinks. I've encountered at least a half-dozen drinks that have exactly the same colouring, and virtually exactly the same flavour and ingredients (give or take some sugar or whatnot, although batch discrepancies may account for this anyway) as Red Bull. Either it's entirely impossible to invent a new and interesting beverage (unlikely, see the ungodly Mother for a new slant on all things caffeinated), or there's a massive market in bootleg Red Bull. (Which, I admit, is entirely possible. Hooray for Ravers.)

Reviews so far:

B-52
A Dutch energy drink that doesn't quite live up to its explosive nomenclature.

Battery Energy Drink
High voltage energy drink that doesn't taste too bad.

Blue Ox: Orange Rush
Cheap, nasty drink that tastes like vitamin horrible.

Blue Ox: Original
Cheap and nasty drink from Woolworths. Bonus points for being seriously goddamn blue.

Blue Ox: Real Power
The only one of three Blue Ox drinks that didn't make me regret being born.

Bullit
A Dutch energy drink with awesome can artwork.

Buzz Monkey
It sponsors a horrible game show, and tastes mercifully decent.

Diet Coke with Citrus Zest
A guest review from Chris Grapes, featuring a frightening Coke/Satan hybrid from the UK.

Go Fast
Possibly the worst drink ever manufactured, bar none.

Guaraná Antarctica
A Brazilian beverage in a green can.

Hype Energy
It comes in a silver can. That's good enough for me. It's also not pee yellow, which makes it even better.

Jugular
Mmm..a totally herbal energy drink with very few redeeming qualities.

Mother
An unpleasant ginger-tasting beverage from the Coca Cola company.

Pokka Milk Coffee
Coffee in a can, straight from Japan, it'll make you a man. With a gigantic chin.

Power Booster
A Dutch energy drink of obscureness and oddity.

Private Energy
It's Dutch, and it has a pornstar on it. Go figure.

Recharge by Sprite
It's blue and it tastes like a combination of mouthwash and lemonade.

Red Bull
The classic energy drink, and the benchmark for all others, really.

Red Devil
Found in Tasmania. It's red. And devilish, apparently.

Red Eye Power
The only canned beverage to bear the Red Eye moniker.

Red Eye: Extreme
It tastes like candy bananas, and it's made in Australia.

Red Eye: Platinum
Another fine energy drink from Red Eye Australia.

Red Lizard
Another Red Bull clone with a lizard on the can, this time. Bonus points for can art on this one, it looks awesome.

Rhino's Energy Drink
A surprisingly nice-tasting drink in a can with a rhinoceros on.

Rodeo Power Drink
A sugar free drink donated by Kees Engels, from The Netherlands. Slightly scary, but not so bad, I guess.

Speed
Yep, it's a narcotic in a can. Or not, really.

Superman
An energy drink that's definitely not the colour of kryptonite.

V
A classic energy drink, made in New Zealand.

These reviews are provided for the enlightenment of anyone that wants to read them. I mean no harm to the companies that make these drinks. A quick search on google will return squillions of webpages from people who enjoy drinking all kinds of energy drinks. Everyone has differing tastes, and I happen to be pretty picky about what I choose to describe as "pleasant tasting". Thank you for reading!