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About this drink: Red Lizard is a cliché energy drink if ever there was one. It meets all the required benchmarks, thus: Name involving a coloured animal Red Lizard. Red Bull. Blue Ox. Orange Gerbil. Whatever. Contains useless ingredient In this case, amino acids, clearly included because "amino acid" is a yuppy buzzword for "magical ingredient", and because it gives the false idea that allowing the beverage to ferment in a primordial atmosphere may bring about the advent of new life. Probably in the form of lizards. Red ones. Appearance, aroma, argh? To the eye: Aaww, I was hoping it would be red. But it's not. It's the same urine yellow as most energy drinks. It's incredibly carbonated, though! I can hear it fizzing as I type this. To the nose: At the risk of comparing yet another drink to the benchmark - it smells like Red Bull. Upon opening the can, there's a strong smell of chemicals, however. It's exactly the same smell as the aroma of black felt pens, before they banned the inclusion of xylene as an ingredient. You remember the smell that you could taste? Mmm. Xylene. To the mouth: Slightly floral, I think. Its similar to Red Bull, in that it tastes like vomit, but in this case, it's slightly floral vomit. The sweetness is definitely stronger than other drinks of the same kind. Not bad, really. Incidentally, it's still carbonated wonderfully. If I could award a drink based entirely on its bubbles, this one would be ze winnah. And a little while after: Slightly greasy, but still floral. Somehow the floral or soapy flavour carries into the aftertaste. I've had worse drinks. If I could be bothered to waste the money on it, I'd have a can of Red Bull handy to compare these drinks to, but yeah, a ) can't afford it, and b ) I really don't want to have to drink a can of [insert beverage here] and then a can of Red Bull as well. I'd die. And we don't want that. When it gets warm: It really starts to taste of chemicals, and the weird smell of xylene manifests itself as a flavour, it tastes decidedly petrochemical. I wonder if it'd substitute for biodiesel. Overall: It's another Red Bull clone, but it's sweeter and slightly less offensive. Either that, or I'm becoming adjusted. There's a frightening thought.  Bubbly! I mean really bubbly!  |
 It's pretty stock-standard. The can art is pretty awesome, though. Tagline: "An invigorating blend of guarana, B vitamins, ginseng & amino acids........the natural way to energize your wildlife". I'm unsure why my wildlife requires energizing, but hey. Manufacturer: It's distributed under license by UB Natural, in Keon Park, Victoria. It's made in New Zealand. Website: I can't find one. In fact, I can't find any mention of it online whatsoever. Which is alarming, considering I could probably find your grandmother with a two second Google search. Daily dosage: "Not recommended for children and pregnant or lactating women; and individuals sensitive to caffeine." Odd usage of semi-colons preserved for archival purposes. "Consume no more than two cans per day." Volume: Can, 250ml. Ingredients: Well, the main unique ingredient in this drink is amino acids. However, "amino acid" is kind of a container term for all manner of wonderful (and mostly inert and useless) chemicals. If you're really interested, you can read this page on Wikipedia, which tells you absolutely nothing about them, but uses a lot of big words. Energy: 45 calories per 100ml. Caffeine: 32mg. Taurine: 20mg. |