It's got nothing to do with your bumhole.

Hi. Welcome to colonpipe.com. This is a website that used to house a whole bunch of uninteresting stuff. I've since tidied it up, pared it down, and I hope I'm now presenting a nice little "best of" album of colonpipe.com content.

Having said that, it's entirely possible the material on this website is not your cup of tea, and won't thrill you in the slightest. Your mileage may vary. I apologise if you're offended, or – even worse – not entertained.

This site was last updated on July 13th, 2011. The date today is . I'll leave it as an exercise to the reader to determine the difference between these two dates, and then psychoanalyse how much I care about updating the website as a factor of that period of time. Alternatively, bash the refresh button a few times and swear about how the site never changes. Whatever floats your dinghy.

And it's called "colonpipe"....why, exactly?

Because alluding to the rectum is amusing. The colon and the pipe are punctuation marks, which combine to form an emoticon that illustrates disinterest, apathy, sarcasm and stoicism. The colonpipe, :|, is a useful and versatile part of the internet vernacular.

The articles:

Searchstring Comics
Comics created based upon searchstrings internet users have used to find this website. Why? So they're not disappointed next time they come back looking for the same thing! [more]

Brisbane: The Musical
Adventures in the fine city of Brisbane with Yahtzee from Zero Punctuation and a motley crew of splendid internet folk. [more]

Exotic Beverage Reviews
In an idea borrowed from Chefelf, a small archive of reviews of energy drinks and bizarre beverages, and comparisons of which deadly chemicals and/or bodily fluids they best resemble. [more]

Musical Disasters
I'm no musician, but it hasn't stopped me -- here're a bunch of compositions that I've decreed aren't totally shit. You may disagree. You're allowed to do that. If you want to hear something better, try this guy, his music kicks ass with great enthusiasm. [more]

There will, at some point, be more articles. I'd advise you to stay tuned, but I'm all too aware that the attention span of a web browsing person such as yourself is so short that you didn't even make it to the end of this sentence. Here I am, once again, talking to myself.